After the others had left, Elizabeth decided to make herself even angrier with Mr. Darcy.
She took out all the letters Jane had sent her since she arrived in Kent and read them again.
Jane never actually complained.
She never described her unhappiness directly, and she never brought up what had happened in the past.
But Elizabeth noticed something she had missed before.
Jane’s letters no longer had their usual warmth and cheerfulness.
Almost every letter contained small signs that Jane was worried or unhappy.
Elizabeth now noticed every one of them.
What Colonel Fitzwilliam had told her made Jane’s suffering seem even worse.
Darcy had separated Jane from Bingley, and he had even been proud of having done it.
Elizabeth found some comfort in knowing that Darcy would soon leave Kent.
In only a few days, he would be gone.
And in less than two weeks, Elizabeth would be with Jane again.
She hoped that being together would help Jane recover her happiness.
Elizabeth could not think about Darcy leaving without also thinking about Colonel Fitzwilliam.
He would leave with Darcy.
But the Colonel had made it clear that he had no romantic intentions toward her.
He was pleasant and charming, but Elizabeth decided she would not allow herself to become unhappy over him.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
Elizabeth’s heart jumped.
She wondered whether Colonel Fitzwilliam had come to see how she was feeling.
He had visited the Parsonage late in the evening before, so perhaps he had returned to ask about her health.
But that hope disappeared almost immediately.
To her complete surprise, Mr. Darcy walked into the room.
He quickly asked how she was feeling.
“I heard that you were unwell. I came to see whether you were feeling better.”
Elizabeth answered politely but coldly.
Darcy sat down.
After a few minutes, he stood up and walked around the room.
Elizabeth was surprised by his strange behavior, but she said nothing.
For several minutes, neither of them spoke.
Then Darcy came toward her.
He looked nervous and deeply troubled.
“At last, I can no longer keep my feelings to myself.”
Elizabeth stared at him.
“My feelings have become too strong to control. I have tried to fight them, but I cannot.”
He took a breath.
“I love you, Elizabeth. I admire you more deeply than I can express.”
Elizabeth was completely shocked.
She could hardly believe what she was hearing.
Darcy continued before she could respond.
He explained that he had been fighting his feelings for a long time.
He had tried to convince himself that he should not love her.
He had considered the differences between their families and their positions in society.
He knew that her family connections were far below his own.
All of these things had made him believe that marrying her would be beneath his position.
Yet, despite everything, he could not stop loving her.
He spoke sincerely and with great emotion.
But there was something deeply offensive in the way he described his struggle.
He made it sound as though loving Elizabeth was something he had been forced to endure.
He spoke about her family’s lower social position as if it were a serious sacrifice for him.
Elizabeth could not deny that it was flattering to learn that a man like Darcy loved her.
For a moment, she even felt sorry for the pain she was about to cause him.
But his words quickly destroyed that sympathy.
When Darcy finished, he clearly expected her to accept his proposal.
His voice showed anxiety, but his expression suggested that he was confident she would say yes.
Elizabeth’s anger rose.
“People usually thank someone for expressing such feelings, even when those feelings are not returned.”
“If I could honestly feel grateful, I would thank you.”
“But I cannot.”
“I have never wanted your good opinion, and you certainly did not give it to me willingly.”
“I am sorry that I have caused you pain, although I never meant to.”
“I hope your disappointment will not last long.”
“And now that you have explained the feelings that kept you from expressing your love sooner, I cannot imagine why those same feelings would trouble you any longer.”
Darcy was standing near the fireplace, staring at her.
Her words clearly shocked and angered him.
His face became pale.
He struggled to control his emotions before finally speaking.
“Is that really all the answer I am going to receive?”
“Perhaps I should ask why you are rejecting me with so little kindness.”
“But perhaps it does not matter.”
Elizabeth immediately replied.
“Then perhaps I should ask why you chose to propose to me in a way that seemed designed to insult me.”
“You told me that you loved me even though you believed you should not.”
“You said your reason, your judgment, and your pride had all told you not to love me.”
“Was I supposed to respond politely to that?”
Elizabeth’s voice became firmer.
“And there is something else.”
“You know exactly what it is.”
“Even if I had no feelings against you, even if I had been completely indifferent to you, or even if I had liked you, could I really marry the man who has caused my beloved sister so much unhappiness?”
Darcy’s face changed when he heard this.
But he remained silent.
Elizabeth continued.
“I have every reason to think badly of you.”
“Nothing can excuse the way you treated my sister and your friend.”
“You cannot deny that you were the main reason they were separated.”
“You caused Jane to look as though she had foolishly changed her mind about Bingley.”
“And you left Bingley looking foolish because his hopes were disappointed.”
“You caused both of them terrible unhappiness.”
Elizabeth stopped.
Darcy listened with an expression that seemed almost unbelieving.
He looked as though he could not understand why she was accusing him.
“Can you deny that you did it?” she demanded.
Darcy answered calmly.
“No.”
“I will not deny that I did everything I could to separate my friend from your sister.”
“And I am not sorry that I succeeded.”
“I believed I was helping him.”
Elizabeth was disgusted by his answer.
She ignored his claim that he had been acting out of kindness.
“But that is not the only reason I dislike you.”
“My opinion of you was already formed long before this happened.”
“I heard Mr. Wickham’s story months ago.”
“Tell me, then, what do you have to say about that?”
“How can you possibly defend yourself?”
“Or are you going to claim that Mr. Wickham lied about you?”
Darcy’s expression hardened.
“You seem very concerned about that gentleman’s affairs.”
“Anyone who knows what happened to him would be concerned.”
“His misfortunes?”
Darcy’s voice became cold and contemptuous.
“Yes. His misfortunes have certainly been considerable.”
“And you caused them!” Elizabeth cried.
“You reduced him to his present situation.”
“You deliberately kept him from receiving opportunities that you knew were meant for him.”
“You took away the independence he deserved during the best years of his life.”
“You did all of that, and yet you speak about his suffering as though it were something ridiculous.”
Darcy began walking quickly across the room.
“So this is what you think of me?”
“This is how highly you regard me?”
“I appreciate your honesty.”
“According to you, my character is full of serious faults.”
He stopped and turned toward her.
“But perhaps you would have forgiven all those faults if I had behaved differently when I proposed.”
“Perhaps you would not be so angry if I had hidden my doubts and simply told you that I loved you without reservation.”
“But I cannot pretend.”
“I do not regret telling you how difficult this has been for me.”
“My feelings were natural.”
“Did you really expect me to be happy about marrying into a family whose social position is so much lower than mine?”
Elizabeth was now angrier than ever.
Still, she tried to remain calm.
“You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you think the way you proposed affected my decision.”
“Your manner only made it easier for me to refuse you.”
“If you had behaved more like a gentleman, I might actually have felt sorry for hurting you.”
Darcy looked startled.
Elizabeth continued.
“There is no possible way you could have proposed to me that would have made me accept you.”
His surprise was obvious.
He looked at her as though he still could not believe what he was hearing.
Elizabeth did not stop.
“From the very beginning, I disliked you.”
“Your arrogance, your pride, and the way you seemed to look down on other people’s feelings gave me a terrible first impression.”
“Everything that happened afterward only made that opinion stronger.”
“I had known you for less than a month when I realized that you were the last man in the world I could ever marry.”
Darcy stood silently for a moment.
Then his expression became completely controlled.
“You have said enough.”
“I understand perfectly how you feel.”
“I can only be ashamed of my own feelings.”
“Please forgive me for taking so much of your time.”
“I sincerely wish you good health and happiness.”
With that, Darcy quickly left the room.
A moment later, Elizabeth heard the front door open.
Then he was gone.
Elizabeth was overwhelmed by everything that had just happened.
She could hardly stand.
She sat down and cried for nearly half an hour.
As she thought about the conversation again, she became more and more astonished.
Darcy had actually proposed to her.
He had been in love with her for months.
And his feelings had become so strong that he was willing to marry her despite all the very reasons that had made him separate Bingley from Jane.
That was almost impossible to believe.
Elizabeth could not deny that it was flattering to know she had inspired such powerful feelings without even realizing it.
But then she remembered his pride.
His terrible pride.
She remembered how openly he had admitted interfering with Jane and Bingley.
She remembered the confidence with which he had defended himself.
And she remembered the cold and insulting way he had spoken about Wickham.
Whatever sympathy she had briefly felt for Darcy disappeared.
She continued thinking about everything that had happened until she heard Lady Catherine’s carriage arriving.
The sound reminded her that Charlotte would soon notice how upset she was.
Elizabeth knew she was in no condition to face Charlotte’s questions.
She quickly went upstairs to her room.