The next morning, Elizabeth woke up thinking about everything that had happened the night before.
She still could not believe that Mr. Darcy had proposed to her.
It was impossible to think about anything else.
After breakfast, she decided that staying indoors would only make things worse, so she went out for some fresh air.
She started toward her favorite walking path.
Then she remembered that Darcy sometimes walked there.
She immediately changed direction.
Instead of entering the park, she followed a lane that led away from the main road.
The park fence still ran along one side of the lane.
After walking up and down that part of the road several times, Elizabeth stopped at the gate.
The morning was beautiful.
After five weeks in Kent, she could see how much the countryside had changed.
The trees were becoming greener every day.
She was about to continue walking when she noticed a man inside the park.
He was walking toward the gate.
Elizabeth immediately worried that it might be Darcy and began to turn away.
But the man had already seen her.
He hurried forward and called her name.
Elizabeth turned back.
It was Darcy.
He reached the gate and held out a letter.
Elizabeth took it automatically.
“I have been walking in the grove for some time, hoping to meet you.”
He handed her the letter.
“Would you please read this?”
Then he gave her a small, formal bow and walked back into the trees.
Within moments, he had disappeared from sight.
Elizabeth had no reason to expect anything pleasant from the letter.
But she was intensely curious.
She opened it as she continued walking.
To her surprise, it contained two full pages covered in Darcy’s small, closely written handwriting.
Even the envelope was filled with writing.
The letter had been written at Rosings that morning.
Elizabeth began to read.
“Miss Bennet,
“Please do not be alarmed by this letter. I am not writing to repeat the feelings or proposal that offended you so much last night.
“I have no intention of causing you more pain or humiliating myself by talking again about feelings that, for both our sakes, should be forgotten as soon as possible.
“I would never have written this letter if my character did not require me to explain myself.
“I ask you to read it, not because I expect you to want to, but because I believe you deserve an explanation.
“You accused me last night of two very different things.
“First, you said that I deliberately separated Mr. Bingley from your sister.
“Second, you accused me of ruining Mr. Wickham’s future and leaving him in poverty, despite everything my family had done for him.
“These two matters are completely different.
“If I had deliberately abandoned Wickham, who had been my father’s favorite and had depended on my family’s support for most of his life, that would have been a far more serious crime than interfering in a young relationship that had existed for only a few weeks.
“Still, I understand why you were angry with me.
“I hope that after you read my explanation, you will judge my actions differently.
“I may have to tell you things that are unpleasant for you to hear. I regret that, but I cannot avoid it.
“First, I will explain what happened between Mr. Bingley and your sister.
“I had not been in Hertfordshire long before I noticed that Bingley preferred Jane to every other young woman around him.
“But I did not realize how serious his feelings were until the Netherfield ball.
“While I was dancing with you that evening, Sir William Lucas happened to mention that everyone expected Bingley and your sister to marry soon.
“He spoke as though their marriage were almost certain and only the date remained undecided.
“After hearing this, I watched Bingley carefully for the rest of the evening.
“I realized that his feelings for Jane were much stronger than anything I had previously seen in him.
“I also watched your sister.
“She was as pleasant, cheerful, and friendly as always.
“But I saw no clear sign that she had any special feelings for him.
“She accepted his attention warmly, but I did not believe she was encouraging him because she loved him.
“If I was wrong about that, then I made a serious mistake.
“You know your sister much better than I do, so perhaps your judgment should be trusted more than mine.
“If I misunderstood her and caused her pain because of that mistake, then your anger toward me is understandable.
“However, I honestly believed that Jane’s calm expression and quiet manner showed that her heart was not deeply involved.
“I admit that I wanted her to be indifferent to Bingley.
“But I did not believe it simply because I wanted it to be true.
“I watched them carefully and reached my conclusion because I sincerely believed that I was judging the situation fairly.
“My objections to their marriage were not based only on the differences between their families.
“Those differences would have mattered much more if I myself were considering such a marriage.
“There were other problems that made me believe Bingley would be unhappy.
“Your mother’s family connections were not ideal, but they were not the greatest problem.
“The greater problem was the behavior of your mother, your three younger sisters, and, at times, even your father.
“Their lack of proper manners was obvious and often embarrassing.
“I know this is painful for you to hear, and I am sorry for saying it.
“But I must also say that you and your eldest sister have behaved very differently.
“You have both shown good judgment and good manners, and no one could fairly blame you for the behavior of your relatives.
“Everything I saw that evening only strengthened my belief that Bingley was about to make a very unfortunate marriage.
“Bingley left Netherfield for London the next day.
“You may remember that he intended to return soon.
“His sisters were just as worried as I was.
“We soon realized that we all wanted to prevent the marriage.
“So we followed Bingley to London.
“Once there, I spoke to him openly about the problems I believed the marriage would cause.
“I tried very hard to convince him to reconsider.
“Perhaps my arguments made him hesitate.
“But I do not think they would have been enough to stop him if I had not also told him that your sister did not return his feelings.
“Bingley had believed that Jane cared for him sincerely, even if her feelings were not as strong as his.
“He is naturally modest and has always trusted my judgment more than his own.
“Once I convinced him that he had misunderstood your sister, it was easy to persuade him not to return to Hertfordshire.
“I do not regret doing that.
“There is only one part of my behavior that I am not proud of.
“I deliberately kept Bingley from knowing that your sister was in London.
“I knew she was there, and Miss Bingley knew it too.
“But Bingley still does not know.
“Perhaps they could have met without causing any serious problems.
“Still, I did not believe his feelings for Jane had disappeared enough for such a meeting to be harmless.
“I may have been wrong to hide the truth from him.
“But I did what I believed was best at the time.
“I have nothing more to say about this.
“If I hurt your sister, I did so without intending to.
“You may think my reasons were not good enough, but I cannot honestly say that I believed them to be wrong.
“Now I must answer your more serious accusation concerning Mr. Wickham.
“The only way I can defend myself is to tell you the complete history of his relationship with my family.
“I do not know exactly what Wickham told you about me.
“But I have several people who can confirm the truth of what I am about to tell you.
“Wickham’s father was a respectable man who managed the Pemberley estate for many years.
“My father trusted him greatly and wanted to help his family.
“George Wickham was my father’s godson, and my father was very fond of him.
“My father paid for Wickham’s education at school and later at Cambridge.
“Wickham’s own father was poor and could not have afforded to give him the education expected of a gentleman.
“My father also enjoyed Wickham’s company because the young man was charming and pleasant.
“He believed highly in Wickham and hoped he would become a clergyman.
“My father planned to help him establish a career in the church.
“I did not share my father’s opinion of Wickham.
“I had known him for many years, and I had seen parts of his character that he carefully hid from my father.
“I had noticed his selfishness, dishonesty, and lack of principles.
“My father never saw that side of him.
“My father died about five years ago.
“Even near the end of his life, he remained very fond of Wickham.
“In his will, he specifically asked me to help Wickham advance in his chosen profession.
“If Wickham became a clergyman, my father wanted me to give him a valuable position connected with our family.
“My father also left Wickham one thousand pounds.
“Wickham’s own father died not long afterward.
“About six months later, Wickham wrote to me.
“He said he had decided not to become a clergyman and hoped I would give him money instead of the church position my father had planned for him.
“He said he was considering studying law and that one thousand pounds would not be enough to support him.
“I was not completely convinced that he was being honest.
“But I was willing to help him.
“I knew he was not suited to the church.
“So we reached an agreement.
“He gave up all future claims to the church position, and I gave him three thousand pounds instead.
“After that, I considered our relationship finished.
“I thought too poorly of him to invite him to Pemberley or spend time with him in London.
“He spent much of his time in London, but he never seriously studied law.
“Once he had the money and no one was watching him, he lived a careless and wasteful life.
“For about three years, I heard almost nothing about him.
“Then the church position my father had intended for him became available.
“Wickham wrote to me again.
“He said his financial situation was terrible.
“I believed him because I knew he had wasted his money.
“He also claimed that studying law had been a failure and that he now wanted to become a clergyman after all.
“He expected me to give him the church position because my father had originally intended it for him.
“I refused.
“You can hardly blame me for that.
“He became extremely angry.
“His financial problems made his resentment toward me even stronger.
“I have no doubt that he spoke about me as badly to other people as he did directly to me.
“After that, we had almost no relationship at all.
“I do not know exactly how he survived.
“But last summer, he appeared in my life again in the worst possible way.
“There is something else I must tell you, although it is a painful subject for me.
“I would not reveal it to anyone unless I believed it necessary.
“My younger sister Georgiana is more than ten years younger than I am.
“She and I, together with Colonel Fitzwilliam, were responsible for her care.
“About a year ago, she left school and began living under the supervision of a woman in London.
“Last summer, Georgiana traveled with this woman to Ramsgate.
“Wickham went there as well.
“I now know that he had already known the woman responsible for Georgiana’s care.
“Her name was Mrs. Younge, and unfortunately we had trusted her completely.
“Wickham used her help to get close to Georgiana.
“My sister had known him when she was younger and remembered his kindness toward her.
“She trusted him.
“He managed to convince her that she was in love with him.
“Eventually, he persuaded her to agree to run away with him and marry him secretly.
“She was only fifteen years old.
“That explains her foolishness, although it cannot excuse what Wickham tried to do.
“Fortunately, Georgiana herself was the one who told me what was happening.
“I arrived unexpectedly only a day or two before they planned to run away.
“She was terrified of disappointing me.
“She had always looked up to me almost as if I were her father.
“So she finally told me everything.
“You can imagine how I felt.
“I immediately acted to protect her.
“I did not want the scandal to damage my sister’s reputation or cause her more pain.
“So I dealt with the matter privately.
“I wrote to Wickham, and he left Ramsgate immediately.
“Mrs. Younge was removed from her position as Georgiana’s guardian.
“I have no doubt that Wickham was mainly interested in Georgiana’s fortune.
“She is worth thirty thousand pounds.
“But I also believe he wanted revenge against me.
“If he had succeeded in marrying her, he would have achieved both goals.
“This is the complete story of my relationship with Mr. Wickham.
“If you can believe even part of what I have told you, I hope you will no longer think that I treated him cruelly.
“I do not know exactly what lies he told you.
“But I can understand why you believed him.
“You knew nothing about his past, and you had no reason to suspect that he was deceiving you.
“You could not have discovered the truth, because you had no information with which to compare his story.
“You may wonder why I did not tell you all this last night.
“The truth is that I was too upset to think clearly.
“I did not know what I could or should tell you.
“For everything I have written here, you may ask Colonel Fitzwilliam for confirmation.
“He is my close relative and has always been very close to me.
“He was also one of the executors of my father’s will, so he knows the details of these matters.
“You may distrust me completely.
“But I hope you will believe my cousin if you cannot believe me.
“I will try to find a way to give you this letter this morning so that you may speak to him if you wish.
“I have nothing more to add.
“God bless you.
“Fitzwilliam Darcy”