My dear Margaret,
You will be happy to know that nothing has gone wrong since I began the journey you were so worried about. I arrived in St. Petersburg yesterday, and the first thing I wanted to do was let you know that I am safe and that I am becoming more confident about the success of my expedition.
I am already much farther north than London. When I walk through the streets of St. Petersburg, I can feel the cold northern wind against my face. Strangely, it makes me feel stronger and happier.
You may wonder why I enjoy such bitter cold, but to me, that wind feels like a message from the distant lands I am about to explore.
It fills my imagination with wonderful dreams.
Everyone tells me that the North Pole is nothing but ice, darkness, and loneliness. But I cannot imagine it that way.
In my mind, the region around the pole is beautiful and full of mystery.
I imagine the sun remaining above the horizon, its great disk spreading light across the endless landscape.
And if the explorers who came before me were right, perhaps there are places beyond the ice that no human being has ever seen.
Perhaps, Margaret, we will sail across a calm sea and eventually reach a land more beautiful and astonishing than anything mankind has discovered before.
Who knows what strange plants, animals, landscapes, or natural wonders might exist there?
What could we discover in a land of almost endless daylight?
Perhaps I will even discover the mysterious force that controls the compass needle. Maybe I will find answers to questions about the heavens that have confused scientists for generations.
Most of all, I will finally see a part of the world that no one has explored before.
I may even be the first person ever to set foot on that unknown land.
These thoughts are enough to overcome my fear of danger and death. They make me feel like a child setting out in a little boat with his friends, excited to explore a river he has never traveled before.
And even if all my hopes prove to be wrong, this journey could still benefit mankind.
Perhaps I will discover a shorter route through the polar seas to distant countries that now take months to reach.
Or perhaps I will uncover the secret behind the Earth’s magnetic force.
If such discoveries are possible at all, someone must be willing to make a journey like mine.
Thinking about all this has calmed me.
When I have a clear purpose in life, my mind becomes peaceful. I finally have something to focus on, something important enough to give my life direction.
This expedition has been my greatest dream since I was young.
I used to read everything I could find about explorers who had tried to reach the North Pacific through the frozen seas around the pole.
You may remember that our Uncle Thomas had an entire library filled with books about voyages of discovery.
My education was not very good, but I loved reading.
Those books became my constant companions. I read them day and night.
The more I read, the more I regretted something that had happened when I was a child.
My father had made my uncle promise, before his death, that he would never allow me to become a sailor.
For a while, I gave up my dreams of exploration.
Then I discovered poetry.
The great poets completely captured my imagination. Their words seemed to lift me into another world.
For a time, I even became a poet myself.
I spent an entire year living in a world of my own imagination. I dreamed that one day my name might stand beside those of Homer and Shakespeare.
You know how badly that dream ended.
You know how deeply I suffered when I realized that I would never become the poet I had imagined.
But just when I was struggling with that disappointment, I unexpectedly inherited my cousin’s fortune.
That changed everything.
With money no longer a problem, my old dream of exploration returned.
It has now been six years since I decided to make this expedition.
I can still remember the exact moment when I made that decision and devoted myself to the journey.
I knew that if I wanted to survive such an expedition, I had to prepare myself.
So I trained my body to endure hardship.
I joined several voyages with whale hunters in the North Sea.
I deliberately exposed myself to extreme cold, hunger, thirst, and sleepless nights.
During the day, I often worked harder than the ordinary sailors.
At night, instead of resting, I studied mathematics, medicine, and the branches of science that might be useful to someone exploring the unknown.
Twice, I even hired myself as a junior sailor on a Greenland whaling ship.
I worked so hard that both times I earned the respect of the crew.
One captain was so impressed with me that he offered me a much higher position on his ship.
He even begged me to stay.
I admit that I was proud of myself.
After everything I have done, Margaret, don’t you think I deserve the chance to accomplish something truly great?
I could have lived a comfortable and wealthy life.
Instead, I chose adventure and the possibility of glory.
Sometimes I wish someone would simply tell me that I am doing the right thing.
My courage and determination remain strong, but my confidence does not always last.
There are moments when I become frightened and discouraged.
I am about to begin a long and dangerous journey, and I know that many difficult situations will test me.
I will not only have to keep myself calm and brave. I will also have to encourage my crew when they become frightened or exhausted.
Sometimes, I may have to find the strength to encourage myself when everyone else has lost theirs.
For now, however, I am traveling through Russia at the best possible time of year.
The Russians move quickly across the snow in their sledges. I actually find the experience much more pleasant than traveling by an English stagecoach.
The cold is not unbearable as long as I wear enough fur.
I have already bought the clothing I need.
There is a big difference between walking around on a ship’s deck and sitting still for hours in freezing weather.
When you are moving, your body stays warm.
When you sit motionless in the cold, you can feel the warmth leaving your body.
I certainly have no desire to freeze to death on the road between St. Petersburg and Archangel.
I expect to leave for Archangel in about two or three weeks.
Once I arrive, I will find a ship for the expedition.
That should not be difficult. I can arrange the insurance for the owner and then hire as many experienced sailors as I need, preferably men who already know how to work on whaling ships.
I do not plan to leave until June.
But when will I return?
Ah, Margaret, I cannot possibly answer that.
If I succeed, you and I may not see each other again for many months.
Perhaps even years.
And if I fail…
Then you will see me again very soon.
Or perhaps you will never see me again.
Farewell, my dear Margaret.
May heaven bless you and keep you safe.
And please, keep me in your thoughts. I hope I will survive this journey and return home so that I can thank you again and again for all the love and kindness you have given me.
Your loving brother,
R. Walton