“I hope, my dear,” Mr. Bennet said to his wife over breakfast the next morning, “that you’ve ordered a good dinner today. We’re going to have another guest at the table.”
“Another guest? Who?” Mrs. Bennet looked surprised. “I don’t know of anyone coming, unless Charlotte Lucas decides to visit. I hope the dinner will be good enough for her. She certainly doesn’t eat like this at home very often.”
“The gentleman I’m expecting is a stranger.”
Mrs. Bennet’s eyes immediately lit up.
“A gentleman? A stranger? It must be Mr. Bingley!”
She turned excitedly toward Jane.
“Jane, you never told me! You clever girl. I’ll be delighted to see Mr. Bingley.”
Then she suddenly looked worried.
“Oh, goodness! What terrible luck. We don’t have any fish today.”
“Lydia, ring the bell at once. I need to speak to Hill.”
“It isn’t Mr. Bingley,” Mr. Bennet said calmly. “In fact, it’s a man I’ve never met in my life.”
Everyone at the table stared at him.
His wife and all five daughters immediately began asking questions.
Mr. Bennet enjoyed their curiosity for a while before finally explaining.
“About a month ago, I received a letter from this gentleman. I replied about two weeks later because I thought the matter was rather delicate and deserved a careful answer.”
He held up the letter.
“It’s from my cousin, Mr. Collins.”
Mrs. Bennet’s expression changed.
“Mr. Collins?”
“Yes. The same Mr. Collins who will be able to throw all of you out of this house after I die.”
“Oh, please, my dear!” Mrs. Bennet cried. “Don’t talk about that horrible man. I can’t stand hearing about him.”
She shook her head angrily.
“It’s one of the most unfair things in the world that our home can’t go to our own children. If I were in your position, I would have done something about it years ago.”
Jane and Elizabeth tried once again to explain how the inheritance arrangement worked.
They had explained it many times before.
But Mrs. Bennet had never been willing to accept it.
As far as she was concerned, it was simply cruel that Longbourn would eventually belong to a man none of them even cared about, instead of going to one of her five daughters.
“It certainly is an unfortunate arrangement,” Mr. Bennet said. “And I suppose Mr. Collins is guilty of the terrible crime of being the person who will inherit the estate.”
Mrs. Bennet glared at him.
“But if you listen to his letter, you may find his manner rather interesting.”
“I’m sure I won’t,” she replied. “It was extremely rude of him to write to you in the first place. And I suspect he’s being completely fake.”
She sighed.
“I hate people who pretend to be friendly. Why couldn’t he simply continue the quarrel between our families, just as his father did?”
“Well,” said Mr. Bennet, “apparently he had some personal reasons for ending the quarrel. You’ll hear them now.”
He opened the letter.
“Dear Sir,
“I have always been troubled by the disagreement between you and my late father. Since his death, I have often wished to repair the relationship between us.”
Mr. Bennet paused and looked at his wife.
“You see, Mrs. Bennet? He’s trying to be nice.”
Mrs. Bennet said nothing.
Mr. Bennet continued.
“For some time, however, I hesitated. I was afraid that becoming friendly with someone my father had always disliked might seem disrespectful to his memory.”
He turned the page.
“But I have now decided that peace between us is the right thing to pursue.”
“Since becoming a clergyman earlier this year, I have been fortunate enough to receive the support of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Through her generosity, I have been given the living of her parish.”
“I consider it my duty as a clergyman to encourage peace and harmony wherever I can, especially within families.”
“I therefore hope you will accept my friendly intentions and not allow the fact that I am next in line to inherit Longbourn to stand between us.”
“I am truly sorry that this inheritance may cause difficulties for your daughters. I hope, in time, to find some way to make up for that unfortunate situation.”
“There is more to say about this later.”
“If you are willing to welcome me into your home, I intend to visit you and your family on Monday, November 18th, arriving at four o’clock.”
“I hope you will allow me to stay until the following Saturday. Lady Catherine has no objection to my being away from the parish occasionally, provided another clergyman takes care of my duties on Sunday.”
“Yours respectfully and sincerely,
“William Collins.”
Mr. Bennet folded the letter.
“So, at four o’clock, we may expect this great peacemaker.”
He smiled.
“He sounds like an extremely polite and responsible young man. I’m sure he’ll be a fascinating acquaintance.”
“And if Lady Catherine is generous enough to let him visit us again, perhaps we’ll have even more opportunities to enjoy his company.”
He looked at his wife.
“His promise to make amends to the girls is rather interesting, though. If he really intends to compensate them somehow, I certainly won’t discourage him.”
Jane considered the matter.
“It’s difficult to imagine what he thinks he can do for us. Still, the fact that he wants to make things right is certainly a good sign.”
Elizabeth, however, had noticed something else.
“What strikes me most is how devoted he seems to be to Lady Catherine.”
She smiled slightly.
“He practically worships her.”
“And I find it amusing that he talks about being ready to perform every religious duty for his parishioners whenever necessary.”
She shook her head.
“He sounds very strange. I really can’t figure him out.”
“His writing is so formal and pompous. And why does he apologize for being the person who will inherit Longbourn?”
She looked at her father.
“It isn’t his fault that the estate is legally going to him. If he could change that, perhaps he would. Do you think he’s actually a sensible man?”
“No, my dear,” Mr. Bennet replied. “I have very little hope of that.”
He looked delighted by the prospect.
“In fact, I’m hoping he’ll be quite the opposite.”
“There’s a wonderful combination of pride and excessive politeness in his letter. I’m very curious to meet him.”
Mary, who had been studying the letter carefully, offered her opinion.
“As far as writing is concerned, I don’t think his letter is badly composed. The comparison to an olive branch may not be particularly original, but he expresses the idea quite well.”
Catherine and Lydia had almost no interest in Mr. Collins or his letter.
There was little chance that their cousin would arrive wearing a bright red coat, and that was the sort of thing that interested them these days.
As for Mrs. Bennet, the letter had greatly reduced her anger.
By the time Mr. Collins arrived, she was surprisingly calm.
Mr. Collins arrived exactly when he said he would.
The entire family received him politely.
Mr. Bennet said very little, but the women were more than willing to keep the conversation going.
Mr. Collins, fortunately for himself, needed no encouragement.
He seemed perfectly capable of talking without anyone’s help.
He was twenty-five years old, tall and rather heavy-looking.
His face was serious, his posture stiff, and everything about his manner was extremely formal.
He had barely sat down when he began complimenting Mrs. Bennet.
“You have a remarkably fine family of daughters, madam.”
“I have heard many wonderful things about their beauty.”
He smiled politely.
“But I must say that even the finest descriptions did not prepare me for how lovely they actually are.”
Mrs. Bennet looked pleased.
Mr. Collins continued.
“I have no doubt that, in time, you will see all of them happily married.”
The compliment did not impress everyone.
But Mrs. Bennet was always happy to receive praise.
“You’re very kind, Mr. Collins.”
She smiled.
“I sincerely hope you’re right. Otherwise, my poor girls will have a very difficult future.”
She sighed.
“Everything about this situation is so unfairly arranged.”
“You mean the inheritance of the estate?”
“Yes, exactly.”
Mrs. Bennet leaned forward.
“It’s a terrible situation for my daughters, as you must admit.”
She quickly added:
“Of course, I’m not blaming you personally. I know these things are determined by law, and once an estate is arranged this way, there’s nothing much anyone can do.”
“I am well aware of how unfortunate this arrangement is for my dear cousins,” Mr. Collins replied.
“I could say a great deal about it, but I would not wish to appear too eager or presumptuous.”
He glanced at the five sisters.
“Still, I assure you that I have come here with the greatest admiration for the young ladies.”
He paused dramatically.
“For the moment, I will say no more.”
“But perhaps, once we know each other better…”
Before he could finish, dinner was announced.
The Bennet sisters exchanged amused looks.
It quickly became clear that the daughters were not the only things Mr. Collins admired.
As soon as he entered the dining room, he began praising the house.
He admired the hall.
He admired the dining room.
He admired the furniture.
He seemed determined to find something wonderful about everything he saw.
Mrs. Bennet would have been delighted by all this praise if she could forget one unpleasant fact.
One day, Mr. Collins might actually own everything he was admiring.
Then dinner was served.
Mr. Collins praised that too.
“This is an excellent meal.”
He looked genuinely impressed.
“I wonder which of my charming cousins is responsible for such fine cooking?”
Mrs. Bennet immediately corrected him.
“Oh, none of my daughters.”
Her tone became slightly sharper.
“We are perfectly capable of keeping a good cook. My daughters have nothing to do with the kitchen.”
Mr. Collins looked alarmed.
“Oh, please forgive me. I certainly did not mean to offend you.”
Mrs. Bennet softened.
“You haven’t offended me at all.”
But Mr. Collins continued apologizing anyway.
For nearly fifteen minutes.