Elizabeth had half expected Bingley to stay away after Lady Catherine’s visit, perhaps sending some excuse through his friend. Instead, only a few days later, Bingley arrived at Longbourn with Darcy.
The two gentlemen came early in the day. Before Mrs. Bennet had a chance to tell Darcy that she and Elizabeth had seen Lady Catherine—a subject Elizabeth was desperately hoping to avoid—Bingley suggested that everyone take a walk.
He clearly wanted some time alone with Jane.
Mrs. Bennet never liked walking, and Mary always claimed she was too busy. So the other five set off together.
It did not take long for Bingley and Jane to fall behind. Elizabeth, Kitty, and Darcy continued ahead together.
None of them said much.
Kitty was too nervous around Darcy to speak freely. Elizabeth was secretly gathering all her courage for something she had decided she must say.
Perhaps Darcy was preparing himself for the same conversation.
They headed toward the Lucases’ house because Kitty wanted to visit Maria. When Kitty went inside, Elizabeth saw no reason to make the situation more complicated.
She continued walking with Darcy alone.
This was her chance.
While she still had enough courage, she spoke.
“Mr. Darcy, I know I’m being selfish, because I’m thinking more about relieving my own feelings than about whether my words embarrass you.”
“But I can’t keep silent any longer. I have to thank you for everything you did for my sister.”
“Ever since I learned what you had done, I have wanted to tell you how grateful I am. If the rest of my family knew the truth, I would have to speak for all of them, not just myself.”
“I’m truly sorry,” Darcy said, clearly surprised and moved, “that you ever found out about something that might have caused you unnecessary distress.”
“I had never imagined Mrs. Gardiner would tell you.”
“You mustn’t blame my aunt,” Elizabeth replied.
“Lydia was the one who accidentally revealed that you had been involved. Naturally, once I suspected the truth, I couldn’t rest until I understood everything.”
“So please let me thank you again, on behalf of my whole family. You went through so much trouble and embarrassment simply to help us.”
“If you wish to thank me,” Darcy said, “then thank me only for yourself.”
“I won’t pretend that the thought of making you happy had nothing to do with my decision. It certainly gave me another reason to do what I did.”
“But your family owes me nothing. I respect them, of course, but I believe I was thinking only of you.”
Elizabeth was too embarrassed to answer.
After a short silence, Darcy continued.
“You are too generous to leave me uncertain.”
“If your feelings are still what they were last April, please tell me now.”
“My feelings have not changed. My hopes have not changed either.”
“But if you tell me that you still feel differently, I will never speak of this again.”
Elizabeth understood how difficult this moment was for him. She forced herself to answer.
“My feelings have changed very much since last April.”
“I can now hear what you have just said with both gratitude and happiness.”
Darcy’s face immediately filled with joy.
Elizabeth could not bring herself to look directly at him, but she could hear the warmth in his voice as he spoke about what she meant to him.
His happiness was unlike anything he had ever experienced before.
They continued walking without paying attention to where they were going.
There was simply too much to think about, too much to feel, and too much to say.
Before long, Elizabeth learned what had brought about their new understanding.
Lady Catherine had stopped to see Darcy on her way back through London. She told him everything about her visit to Longbourn, including why she had gone there and what Elizabeth had said to her.
Lady Catherine had repeated Elizabeth’s words with great emphasis, believing that they proved Elizabeth was arrogant and disrespectful.
She had hoped that telling Darcy all this would persuade him to force Elizabeth to promise that she would never marry him.
Unfortunately for Lady Catherine, her plan had produced exactly the opposite result.
“She actually made me hope,” Darcy said, “when I had hardly allowed myself to hope before.”
“I knew enough about your character to believe that if you had completely and permanently rejected me, you would have told Lady Catherine so plainly.”
Elizabeth blushed and laughed.
“You certainly know me well enough to believe that.”
“After insulting you so thoroughly to your face, I wouldn’t have had the slightest difficulty insulting you to all your relatives as well.”
“What did you say about me that I didn’t deserve?”
“Your accusations were based on misunderstandings, but I still deserved your criticism.”
“My behavior toward you that evening was terrible. I can’t defend it.”
“We won’t argue about who deserves more blame,” Elizabeth said.
“If we examined everything carefully, neither of us would come out looking perfect.”
“But I think we have both learned to behave a little better since then.”
“I cannot forgive myself quite so easily,” Darcy replied.
“I still remember everything I said, everything I did, and the way I behaved that night. For months, the memory has been painful.”
“You once told me, ‘Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.’”
“I have never forgotten those words.”
“You probably cannot imagine how much they affected me.”
Elizabeth looked surprised.
“I certainly never expected my words to have such an effect on you.”
“I can believe that.”
“At the time, you thought I had no proper feelings at all. I know you did.”
“I will never forget the expression on your face when you told me there was nothing I could possibly have said that would make you accept my proposal.”
“Oh, please don’t repeat it,” Elizabeth said.
“I have been ashamed of those words for a very long time.”
Darcy then brought up the letter he had written to her.
“When you read my letter, did it make you think better of me?”
“Did you believe what I wrote?”
Elizabeth explained how the letter had affected her and how, little by little, it had changed her understanding of him.
“I knew my letter would hurt you,” Darcy said.
“But I believed it was necessary.”
“I hope you destroyed it.”
“There were parts of it, especially the beginning, that I would hate for you to read again.”
“I remember some of the things I wrote. They were harsh enough to make you hate me.”
“I will burn it if you really think that is necessary to keep your place in my heart,” Elizabeth replied.
“But although I have changed my opinion of you, I hope you don’t think my feelings are quite so easily changed.”
“When I wrote that letter, I thought I was calm and reasonable,” Darcy said.
“I now realize that I was writing in a terrible state of anger and bitterness.”
“Perhaps the letter began that way,” Elizabeth said, “but it certainly didn’t end that way.”
“The ending was almost an act of kindness.”
“But let us forget the letter.”
“We are both so different now from the people who wrote and received it that there is no reason to keep remembering the unpleasant parts.”
“You should learn one of my principles.”
“Remember the past only when remembering it gives you pleasure.”
“I’m not sure I can accept that philosophy,” Darcy said.
“Your memories probably contain very little that you regret. That isn’t philosophy. It is simply because you have little to regret.”
“But I’m different.”
“I have memories that are painful, and I don’t think I should push them away.”
“I have been selfish all my life, even though I was taught what was right.”
“As a child, I was taught good principles, but no one taught me how to control my temper.”
“My parents gave me everything I needed to become a good man, but they also spoiled me.”
“I was their only son for many years, and they allowed me to become proud and selfish.”
“My father was a particularly kind and generous man, but he still allowed me to believe that I was more important than everyone outside my family.”
“I became used to looking down on other people and believing that my judgment was better than theirs.”
“That was the man I was from childhood until I was twenty-eight.”
“And I might still be that man if I had never met you.”
“Elizabeth, I owe you more than I can say.”
“You taught me a difficult lesson, but it was one I desperately needed.”
“You humbled me.”
“When I proposed to you, I never doubted that you would accept me.”
“You made me realize that all my wealth, position, and confidence meant nothing if I could not win the respect of a woman I truly admired.”
Elizabeth smiled.
“Did you really believe I would accept you?”
“I did.”
“What do you think of my confidence now?”
“I believed you wanted me to propose. I even thought you were expecting it.”
“My behavior must have given you that impression,” Elizabeth said, “but I never intended to mislead you.”
“I was sometimes carried away by my own feelings and behaved in ways I didn’t fully understand.”
“You must have hated me after that evening.”
“Hated you?”
“I was angry at first, perhaps.”
“But before long, my anger was directed toward myself instead.”
Elizabeth hesitated before asking her next question.
“I’m almost afraid to ask what you thought of me when we met again at Pemberley.”
“You must have been annoyed that I had come there.”
“Not at all.”
“I was simply surprised to see you.”
“You were probably even more surprised that I spoke to you.”
“My conscience told me that I had no right to expect any special kindness from you.”
“I honestly expected nothing more than ordinary politeness.”
“My purpose at Pemberley,” Darcy explained, “was to show you through every kindness I could offer that I had no intention of holding your rejection against you.”
“I wanted your forgiveness.”
“I wanted you to see that I had taken your criticism seriously and had tried to change.”
“I hoped you might think better of me.”
“And when did you begin to have feelings for me again?” Elizabeth asked.
“I can hardly say exactly when.”
“But I believe it happened about half an hour after I first saw you.”
Darcy then told her how delighted Georgiana had been to meet Elizabeth and how disappointed she had been when their acquaintance suddenly ended.
That naturally led them to discuss why Darcy had followed Elizabeth from Derbyshire.
Elizabeth soon discovered that he had already decided to follow her before he left the inn.
His serious and thoughtful mood there had not been caused by some private struggle.
He had simply been trying to decide how to help her sister.
Elizabeth thanked him again, but neither of them wanted to spend more time discussing such a painful subject.
They continued walking for several miles.
They were so absorbed in their conversation that neither paid attention to where they were going.
Eventually, they looked at their watches and realized that it was time to return home.
Elizabeth suddenly remembered Bingley and Jane.
“What do you suppose happened to Mr. Bingley and Jane?”
The question naturally turned their conversation toward the young couple.
Darcy was delighted about their engagement.
Bingley had told him about it as soon as he could.
“I have to ask,” Elizabeth said. “Were you surprised when you heard?”
“Not at all.”
“When I left before, I already felt that it would happen soon.”
“So you mean you had given Bingley your permission?”
Elizabeth smiled.
“I suspected as much.”
Darcy protested at the word “permission,” but Elizabeth soon discovered that her description was not far from the truth.
“The evening before I went to London,” Darcy explained, “I finally told Bingley everything.”
“I admitted that my earlier interference in his relationship with your sister had been foolish and completely unjustified.”
“He was shocked.”
“He had never suspected any of it.”
“I also told him that I had been wrong to think Jane did not care for him.”
“After seeing how strongly he still felt about her, I became certain that they could be happy together.”
Elizabeth could not help smiling at the ease with which Darcy seemed to manage his friend’s affairs.
“When you told Bingley that Jane loved him,” she asked, “were you relying on what I told you last spring?”
“Or had you reached that conclusion yourself?”
“From what I saw myself.”
“I had watched your sister carefully during the two visits I recently made to Longbourn.”
“I became convinced that she loved him.”
“And I suppose Bingley immediately believed you?”
“He did.”
“Bingley is naturally very modest. His own uncertainty had stopped him from trusting his judgment in such an important matter.”
“But he trusted mine, so everything became much easier.”
“There was one thing I had to admit that understandably upset him.”
“I had known that Jane was in London for three months the previous winter, and I had deliberately kept that information from him.”
“He was angry.”
“But I’m certain his anger disappeared as soon as he realized that Jane’s feelings for him had never changed.”
“He has forgiven me completely now.”
Elizabeth wanted to tell Darcy that Bingley was an excellent friend—so easy to influence that his value as a friend was almost impossible to measure.
But she stopped herself.
Bingley had not yet learned to laugh at himself, and she thought it was too soon to begin.
As Darcy talked happily about Bingley’s future marriage, he seemed to regard his friend’s happiness as second only to his own.
They continued talking until they finally reached Longbourn.
Once inside the hall, they went their separate ways.